Fatherhood²: Routine – The Joys and the Sorrows

Henry Elliss — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:00:09 +0000

I don’t profess to be anywhere near an expert in parenting – in fact, I’d go as far as to say that in a lot of respects I’m nothing more than an amateur. But what I DO know is what has worked (and not worked) for my children. Routine is one thing that has made our lives a LOT easier – and occasionally a little trickier…

The Joy of Routine

As a parent, routine is your friend. Routine can make your life a lot easier. Little children LOVE routine – they gobble it up, and it gives structure and sense to their chaotic little lives.

Take bedtime for instance. Before I became a parent, I would regularly scoff when I heard about parents who would stick laboriously to routines for their children. “Look at them, missing out on a beer because they HAVE to give little Timmy a bath at a certain time – what FOOLS!” I would say. But now that I’m a father of two, I recognise how foolish I was. Having a bedtime routine is joyous.

Our current bedtime routine for Robert (and soon for Freddie too) consists roughly of: Dinner, 30 minutes of “wind down” time with Cbeebies, a bath, 2 stories and in to bed. It has been this way since he was about 6 months old (from the moment where he could happily sit still for a story, basically) and the consistency of this routine almost guarantees he will go to sleep within about 5 minutes of jumping in to bed. No matter how chaotic or different your day – even on holiday – keeping to this routine has always worked a treat for us, at a time that some parents can find an absolute nightmare.

On a smaller scale, routine can help with more day-to-day tasks: Always washing your hands after you’ve had a wee, put your toys away once the day is done, holding hands before you cross the road. I wouldn’t say we’ve cracked all of these to the same level as bedtime, but they certainly take advantage of your child’s burgeoning memory.

But at the same time as being a key weapon in your parenting arsenal, routine can also blow up in your face – though recognising this is happening can be half the battle…

The Sorrow of Routine

Take the bedtime example above. If we stick to this routine, everyone’s a winner. Minor changes here and there can easily be glossed over, but make a more significant change (particularly one which is construed as positive to the child) and you can kiss your little routine goodbye. For instance, bedtime stories: Occasionally, I would offer Robert a third story as a “reward” for something. Short term gain – long term pain. For the next 3+ nights, he’ll demand three books, and the ensuing fall-out will dramatically disrupt bedtime, sometimes to the extent that he’d end up with no stories at all. Not a happy bunny!

A LEGO Model. Not The Sun's though.

You can also find yourself in unintentional routines too. I don’t know if you took part, but last week The Sun newspaper (not something I’d usually buy, I should add) were doing an offer where you got a free LEGO model with every copy, for a week. For 4 days in a row (I missed a few!) I was able to get two Lego models for just 60p, so Robert and I were able to sit down together during breakfast and make our models (he’s surprisingly good at LEGO for a 3 year old!).

All very nice and heart-warming, until the day when the promotion came to an end. Even now, 6 days later, he still asks me excitedly in the morning whether we’ll be “building our models” over breakfast – with the ensuing micro-tantrum throwing a spanner in the works of our morning routine several times. Sou routines can be a pain, too – especially when you didn’t realise you were establishing them.

I’m sure there are lots of other examples, but you get the picture. Overall I’d say the “Joy” of routine wins out over the “Sorrow” – even getting the hang of recognising a routine will help you in combating (or exploiting) them…

My Year in Photos – January 29th – “Building up to bedtime”

Henry Elliss — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:00:09 +0000

My Year in Photos – January 29th, originally uploaded by henweb.

At the end of what has been a pretty fecking tiring week, I was pleased to come home and find that Robert was feeling much better, so much so that when I walked in he was treating his mum as a trampoline. For those not following my updates, we took Robert to the doctors yesterday to be told that he had not one but TWO ear infections, a bad bout of conjunctivitis, a cold and the ongoing teething issues. Hence why he’s been a bit of a grump lately. Having got him a variety of medicines and remedies, he seems to be on the mend now. I took this photo at about half seven, when he’d normally be fast asleep, but had decided he wanted to play with bricks instead. Having put up with him being grumpy all week, it was just nice to see him being so perky!

My Year in Photos – January 21st – “Superbaby!”

Henry Elliss — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:09:29 +0000

My Year in Photos – January 21st, originally uploaded by henweb.

Apologies for the slight blurriness of this image. There was a MUCH better one, but I mistakenly deleted it while trying to Bluetooth it off my phone. Don’t even start me on the evil bloody uneraser programs, which tell you they’re free, show you the file they found, then want you to pay £50 to recover it…!

This was taken while we were trying to get Robert to bed tonight – a thankless task which is getting harder and harder, but is always a lot of fun too. Here Robert was running round the bedroom with a cuddle-robe acting as a cape! He thought it was hilarious…

Fatherhood² | Henry's Blog » Bedtime

Fatherhood²: Routine – The Joys and the Sorrows

My Year in Photos – January 29th – “Building up to bedtime”

My Year in Photos – January 21st – “Superbaby!”