Having travelled on many flights which included babies, I’m pretty sure I’m still not comfortable with taking a baby on an aircraft, unless you strictly have to. Not only is their screaming a little bit annoying for the other passengers, but I can’t imagine the pressures that air travel puts on your body can be very good for a tiny baby.

Thankfully though, our holiday only saw us travelling to Cornwall, so no air travel was required. Instead we just had to endure a 5-6 hour car journey with two restless children couped-up in the back seat – certainly not as bad as it could have been. We only had to stop 5 times on the way, and 3 of those were brought on by a desperate-to-pee toddler, so the baby comes out of this pretty well to be honest!

The holiday itself was reasonably uneventful from a baby point of view. We were already very used to the sleepless nights, which didn’t change too much during the holiday. In fact, if anything they improved – the sea air in the South West seemed to tire baby Freddie out, allowing us to get at least 2 or 3 nights with over 5 hours of unbroken sleep!

We weren’t really limited in our activities by the baby either. There were definitely precautions we had to take – making sure we had a little beach-shade-tent-thing for the beach, packing a LOAD of spare clothes to prepare for all weather conditions – that sort of thing. But thanks to some very child-friendly restaurants/hotels and a very understanding family, the holiday went quite well.

It also proved pretty useful to be taking so many other family members with us, including 2 grandparents. There was almost always somebody stood there ready to have a cuddle or wanting to play with baby, which meant we got some “me” time – or more accurately, time to play with the other child for a while!

I suspect our experiences are probably a little less “average” than most holiday makers, so I’m certainly not saying there are no problems associated with taking babies on holiday. But I’d be very interested to hear about other parents’ experiences if you’d like to share them!

It won’t be a the early morning that’s tough – though a poor night’s sleep tonight make me a bit more bleary-eyed I imagine. It won’t be the working either – aside from the fact that my iPhone has allowed me to stay in touch with the office and my emails during my time off, I enjoy my job immensely so it won’t be hard to jump back into. The hard part will be being away from Freddie (and Robert) for most of the day.

It’s also going to be tough leaving Sara in the morning, knowing that she’s going to be coping alone all day when she’s had me around for the past 3 weeks to help. I suspect I’m often more of a hindrance mind you, and I have every confidence that after a few days of settling in she’ll be running things like a well-oiled machine – but it’s still going to make me feel very guilty when I kiss them all goodbye in the morning.

Luckily for me, I’ve only got a couple of weeks back in the hot-seat before we’re heading off for a week’s holiday in Devon to celebrate my parent’s 40th Wedding Anniversary – so I’m being eased back in quite gently, relatively speaking.

I suppose I should be grateful that I live in a country where I’m given any time-off at all – these three weeks have been really brilliant for building a bond with little Frederic, and I’ve already been able to witness so many tiny milestones in his development. Sitting here contemplating a return to the rat race makes it very easy to worry that I’ll miss out on some of his bigger milestones later on – will I see him take his first steps, or roll over for the first time?

Thinking back to Robert’s own milestones though, I don’t really feel like I missed much – or if I did, I don’t remember what I missed anyway! :D

So think of me (if you’re awake) tomorrow at about 7.15, when I bid my burgeoning family adieu for the first time…. Then think of me again at about 12.45 – I suspect I’ll be enjoying a sneaky lunch-time nap on the Tamar sofas…! :)

Some things have definitely been easier, some things just as hard. And of course, having an older brother or sister brings with it a whole new bunch of challenges which I’d not spent much time thinking about. Here’s a few of my observations on fathering a second child, from where I am sat (or more accurately, slumped) on the evening of Freddie’s 5th day…

Easier

Obviously the preparation was a lot easier for Baby v2.0 – we already had a usable cot, moses baskets, clothes in every size and shape imaginable, shoes (worth their weight in gold – or that’s how it feels when you buy them, anyway!) and all the rest. So there was no need to go round for months before hand shopping for supplies, and it’s going to be nice to have less expenditure in the coming months whilst we’re surviving on one wage.

We were also a lot more knowledgeable about what to expect – apart from the pleasant ones, there haven’t really been too many surprises so far. I’ve certainly felt a lot more confident handling the baby, though I’m still very cautious. The amazement at how quickly a baby can eject the milk it has taken in (one end or the other) was more of an amusement this time – the same goes for most of the surprises of a new baby.

The routine of baby is not a surprise either – apart from the obvious changes, baby hasn’t meant we’ve had to change our routine TOO much yet – though me being on paternity leave has obviously helped too. We’re also trying to ensure Robert’s routine isn’t affected too much either, so that seems to help in getting used to things.

Harder

I suspect it’s a mixture of advancing age and a poor memory of last time, but the night-time feeding/burping/changing routine has felt a little harder than the first time. Obviously we’re still in the first few weeks, when baby will want feeding a HECK of a lot, but these first few nights have been VERY tiring for both of us…

Unlike Robert, Frederic decided to make his entrance via the more traditional (ahem) route – and has also been happily feeding from the breast like it’s going out of fashion – something Robert never managed. Whilst his entrance was certainly a little more “as expected”, for me as an observer is was a lot more worrying and stressful. There’s something about being in an operating theatre that feels a lot more “controlled” than a delivery suite full of midwives and a wife who is in a lot of pain.

The breastfeeding has also been a little harder – though this sounds a little selfish, I realise. When Robert insisted on being bottle-fed, it meant we could share the feeding duties, particularly at night. Whilst Frederic being a latcher means the logistics are a little more regular, it means that I can’t play much of a part in night-time feeds, so I’m feeling a little bit out-on-a-limb. I’m sure once he gets more regimented in his feeding – and Sara has time to express some milk for the night time feeds – I’ll be able to play more of a part. For now though, I just have to remain the supportive partner… ahem.

I’m sure there are a lot more observations I should have made here, but I’m currently existing on a sleep-ration of just over 4 hours per night, so you’ll probably forgive me if I keep this punchy for now…!

As with most pregnancies, Sara is looking a little bigger this time around (supposedly the muscles having relaxed more during the last pregnancy causes more “expansion” the second time) and we’re pretty-much ready to roll – bags packed for Sara, baby AND Robert, plus several different flow-chart plans plotting who we’ll call

I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for Sara, but for me the mixture of anticipation and trepidation is very bizarre to behold.

On one hand, I’m raring to go and feeling nervous for the moment when it all kicks off. Will it be during the night or during the day? Will I be at home or at work? Which of our many plans will we have to go with? What happens if we have to take Robert with us to the hospital? Will it be a quick birth like last time, or more of a “normal” one?

So many questions are swimming around in my head, it certainly makes getting to sleep a little tricky at night. But it’s certainly a nervous-excitement, rather than anything too scary.

On the other hand, I’m remembering what a shock it was when Robert came along, both in terms of “workload” and the whirl of activity from visitors and appointments. I really should be making the most of the quiet time before the storm – time when we still have our evenings free for instance (well, most of them – Robert’s sleeping patterns have been a little ropey lately, probably due to his own nerves about baby’s arrival). But it’s pretty hard to do much “relaxing” when there’s such a big storm over the horizon…!

Whilst I have absolutely no control over when the big entrance happens, I’m trying to plan for it in my head as much as possible, hoping that I can remain the calm one (for a change!).

Tonight we test-drove the TENS machine (hiring a digital one was definitely a good idea – it’s just a gadget now!) and a recent trip to Sara’s mother’s house proved a useful dry-run for ensuring everything we needed was packed and ready.

Whatever happens, all I really hope is that I provide the support and assistance that Sara will require. Oh, and that they give me some of those George Clooney, ER-style scrubs to wear like last time. Those were awesome!

Sara and I are still 3 months away from the arrival of Baby 2.0, but we’re obviously now spending a bit of time thinking about baby names.

I personally quite impressed that we already have a “Top 5″ list, but I should point out that Robert only officially got his name (it was one of our top choices, but hadn’t been finalised) when Sara was going in to the caesarian surgery room, and Robbie Williams’ “Angels” was playing on the stereo. So the fact that we have a list this time may also mean nothing.

Either way, our search has lead us to a few different sites, one of which I had planned to write a whole post about. The “Baby Name Voyager” tool gives you a 100+ year view of when names have been popular (or not), giving some really interesting insights in to trends in naming. ‘Henry’ for instance, seems to have peaked in popularity in 1880, and has mainly been on the decline ever since. Whereas ‘Sara’ on the other hand peaked (in a BIG way) in the 1980s.

But my interest in this site has quickly fallen from my mind, knocked out by another AMAZING topic: Namely, the remarkable spellings that some people choose for their children. I’m not talking the PR-friendly stories of parent’s calling their kids “Superman”, or “Darth Vader”. I’m talking about the fact that the normal (albeit “old”) names like ‘Morris’ are now less popular than – for instance – ‘Joao’.

I should give a warning here: I have no idea if the names I’m going to highlight here are actually traditional spellings, or continental names, or just a result of mis-spellings at the registry office. I’m not trying to make any sort of contentious argument, or complain about the loss of “tradition”. Quite frankly, I’m just amazed at how some of these names get picked. It’s baffling. Here’s a few examples, taken from the Bounty Website “top baby names” section…

• The name ‘Jett’ is more popular than ‘Gordon’
• The brand-name ‘Diesel’ is more popular than ‘Derek’
• The typo ‘Brandan’ is more popular than ‘Morris’
• The ACRONYM ‘LJ’ is more popular than ‘Desmond’
• The slogan ‘Blaze’ is more popular than ‘Ronald’
• The mis-spell ‘Mattew’ is more popular than ‘Arnold’
• The rapper-name ‘Denniz’ is more popular than ‘Bernard’
• The colour ‘Blue’ is more popular than ‘Nigel’
• The style ‘Soul’ is more popular than ‘Dermot’
• The sex ‘Boy’ (yes, BOY!!!) is more popular than ‘Bill’

I could go on for pages and pages, but I think you get my point.

Now, I’m not saying we should all be calling our children ‘Nigel’ or ‘Arnold’, but have we REALLY run out of suitable names to such an extent that we want to call our children ‘Boy’ or ‘Denniz’?! I should re-iterate that I don’t have anything against people naming their children unusual or unique names. But too many X’s and Z’s seem to be creeping in here, and it shocked me a little bit! :)

Looking at the volumes on some of these, I’m SURE there are going to be lots of you that’ll disagree. I’d LOVE to get comments from somebody with a child called ‘Boy’ though… : )

Almost three years on, and facing the prospect of revisiting some of those purchases for a second time, I wanted to reflect on a couple of items which I now consider to be a complete waste of time. Some lovely folk on Twitter and a couple of boards I frequent also helped with some suggestions, so a big ‘thank you’ to them as well.

Obviously these opinions are all just that – opinions. You may well and possibly will disagree, but if I can save even ONE wasted purchase, it’ll have been worth it… I’m also planning to do a companion post with my “must have” purchases at a later date, but for now, here’s the no-nos… Here goes!

Bottle sterilisers

Thankfully, we didn’t pay money for this, instead inheriting one from my brother and his wife. It was a complex little thing – place some water in the base, stick all your bottles in it and it’ll steam-sterilise them, making them safe for baby. Sounds reasonably smart, right? Wrong.

Maybe it was the circumstances I was using it in, but due to Robert’s ‘latching issues’, we were bottle feeding (expressed milk) at all feeds – including the middle of the night. Sterilised bottles using these machines have to be sterilised fresh every time – the amount of times I got 3rd-degree burns whilst taking freshly-sterilised bottles out of it in the middle of the night was scary. And too much for my bleary-eyed self to cope with.

As soon as somebody told us sterilising tablets, we ditched the machine and swapped to a 10-liter plastic box, filled with water and a sterilising tablet. You can leave bottles in it for 24 hours before having to change the water, and it’s super-easy to travel with too. My top tip, definitely.

Baby changing tables

I know it’s not technically a gadget, but it was definitely something you could easily live without – unless of course you have a physical limitation which makes it necessary. I should point out that we happily used ours for a good few months – it *was* especially useful for Sara in the post-caesarian days after birth. But as soon as we got rid of it (due to space-saving) I realised it had been a complete waste of space – changing baby on a changing-mat on the floor is WAY easier, and something you’ll have to get used to out in the real-world anyway. Save the hassle and don’t bother, or at the very least ditch it as soon as it becomes anything but a necessity…

Diaper Genie / Nappy Disposal Units

I’ve not experienced this one personally, but a LOT of people told me they found these to be a complete waste of space. I actually wanted to buy one, but Sara (very sensibly) persuaded me against it – people tell me they are VERY clumsy to use, usually result in a pooy-hand problem as you try to wrangle the nappy in to the opening and generally don’t work. And let’s face it, how hard is it to drop a used nappy in to a nappy-bag and chuck it in the bin?! The little bin they give you under the disposal unit only holds about 5 or 6 nappies before you need to demolish it and empty the thing, so I say why bother!

Baby Slings / Snuggies

You see people walking around with these in ‘bohemian’ areas of London – baby wrapped round your body, just like you see in those documentaries about tribes people, don’t you know. In reality, they’re a total pain in the arse – tough to wrangle on to anything but the lithest of bodies, and very un-nerving for the mother – I don’t know about you, but I certainly wouldn’t be confident enough in my abilities not to risk the baby dropping out of it when you bend over.

Wake-up glow clock

This probably isn’t the correct name for it, but the concept is fairly straight-forward, with a selection of variations on one theme – it’s a clock, with one method or other to tell your child when it’s “getting up time”, and when they should be asleep. Ours was electonic, my brother’s was a wall-mounted clock with a rabbit on. Both, to my knowledge, failed miserably.

Unless your child is old enough to “get” the concept – which I’d argue they’re not going to be until at least 6 or 7 – they’re just going to ignore it. Robert can’t have looked at his more than once, and unless we’d have popped it on the pillow next to him, it’s never going to make a jot of difference to when he decides to wake up / get up / call out for a drink. Rubbish!

Weighted blankets

Another one I’ve not experience personally, but I’m reliably informed by other parents that these blankets – supposedly weighted in a clever way to resemble a ‘hug’ – are totally pointless. Children kick them straight off and they sit their on the floor, reminding them of the £25 you wasted on them.

Cat nets

This is probably a fairly ‘niche’ baby product, but as cat owners we were told horror stories about how cats could jump in to the cot/moses basket with your baby, and suffocate them in their sleep. Obviously this is probably based on true stories, but from personal experience, the cat net was a complete waste of time. Both of our cats were completely uninterested in Robert, especially when he screamed.

I wouldn’t want to risk being the person that says “Don’t buy it” and then find out that a baby suffocated as a result, but I’ll say this – don’t waste too much money on them!

So, those are my tips – take them or leave them, but either way, let me know your thoughts. Did I miss something? Did you find bottle warmers to be the best thing since sliced bread? Let me know!

This concept for me at least stretches back to when we were expecting our first child. I looked ahead and imagined how things would be. I had expectations of fatherhood mainly from the input of my parents over the years and I ‘saw’ things panning out in a certain way. Generally, they did. But the specifics of parenting were either very different, had changed with the passing of time or I had simply got it wrong in the first place.

Curled up in bed at night, you feel the restless baby stretching the Missus’ belly and kneeing you in the back, and you wander… it’s just the two of us now, but soon we will be three and our child will grow. Will they be smart, or slow to take off? Will they be difficult and challenging to raise or need little in the way of admonishment or guidance? What will they want out of life? Will they be fit and healthy, have allergies or serious health problems? Will they pass exams or be more practical? How old will they be when they start dating (and will I approve of their choices???) Can I teach them, raise them and prepare them to make the right decisions in life?

If you want the answers to these questions you only need one thing. Patience.

All these questions can only be answered over time. It is almost like an unwritten story. You no longer find yourself in the middle a time scale, but at the beginning.

So what have I learnt after 15 years and four children, in respect of what the future holds? You just gotta accept what comes along, ‘cos no matter how you bring the children up, whatever you try and instil in them, you are going to be surprised.

Merryn Smith is a proud Scillonian, father, councillor, airport worker, husband and Facebook addict

Today we headed over to Hertfordshire to visit our Uni friends Dave and Claire, who recently became parents for the first time. We had a lovely day out, followed up by a lovely pub lunch in Maidenhead and a trip to the Sheeplands farm shop at Harehatch, on the way home. Win!

I headed down to the trendy shopping street in Chiswick today (I’m assuming there’s not many of these streets, or I’d have found them by now!) to buy a baby gift for some friends of ours who have recently had a baby. As you’d expect on a street of trendy boutiques, there were lots of very pricey-looking shops to choose from, but this seemed like the best bet for baby thins (judging by the name!).

I ended up getting some very nice gifts in their sale (I won’t reveal what, in case they are reading this!) but was pretty impressively shocked to see some “Baby Dior” booties on sale in this shop – for NINETY POUNDS! Considering toddlers apparently change shoe size every six weeks, that’s quite an impressive habit to have to keep… I think I’ll stick with Mothercare!

After an incredibly busy day (including a promising sales meeting with a client whose logo I took a picture of, but decided it wasn’t a wise thing to upload…!) I sat down in front of the TV and realised I was sitting on this book. Sent to us by my cousin Lucy, it’s a very funny pretend baby book giving kids instructions of how to make various cocktails and drinks. It’s very funny. It’s also about the only interesting photo I took today!