Archive for the ‘Guest Post’ Category

I still remember the first time my father discussed the subject of sex with me. I was fourteen years old and it was clear that my father had no idea of what I was going through.

I had returned home from a summer vacation camp. Together with fifty teenagers I had been locked into a house to discuss drugs, sex, love, friendship and so forth with a group of professionals. We had not been allowed to leave the premises but we could do pretty much what we wanted inside, and most importantly, we could speak about what concerned us at the time.
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(or, An Atheist and a Catholic Walk Into a Bar…)

I grew up Catholic. I went to church every Sunday and said grace before dinner. I went to catechism during the school year and to summer Bible school when school was finished. The first book I memorized was a children’s version of The Good Samaritan. I loved the formality of my First Holy Communion: the white dress with pink ribbons at the sleeves, the short veil, and my pearl rosary. During Advent, I loved singing “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” in a loud, serious, and morose-sounding voice. On Palm Sunday, my grandma taught me how to braid the palm leaves, and I tucked them behind a ceramic cross that hung on the wall in my bedroom.
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A long time ago, I had a personal blog. There was no reason or meaning or direction to the blog. It was just me talking about being confused by stuff that didn’t make sense. Like Republicans, or dumb jobs where you had to wear a piece of cloth that divided your upper body to make you look distinguished, or the war in Iraq, or my crazy dogs, or Baltimore. The blog was directionless, and that’s how I liked it. I was the Joe Jackson of blogging: doing what I wanted and the hell with it all.

Unfortunately, Joe Jackson’s Look Sharp is the best album ever written, and his fans have been chasing that high for over 30 years. We’ve been with him in his swing period, his classical period, and even his bongos period, but eventually, we’re moving on. We need stability. We need to follow a musician or a band and know more or less what’s coming next.
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They say that having children changes you, your life will never be the same and in some cases will add years to you. I think one thing is for sure: having children changes the way you see things.

In some simple respects, it could be the day to day things like driving a little more sensibly, cutting down on smoking or even watching your language in the house. There’s no doubt that having children changes the way you view finances and other responsibilities. In some cases it could be the first serious responsibility we shoulder and in those circumstances it can be very daunting.

I believe though, that it goes much, much deeper than that. Little by little Fatherhood inveigles every area and aspect of our lives. Often our thoughts are not our own, when we are shopping, little ‘uns are taken into account, holidays are shaped for the “family” with childrens activities laid on not just for us all to enjoy, but also to keep them occupied and off our nerves!
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Danny Wallace is a man. This much we know from his popular column in ShortList magazine. But he is also so much more than a man – the presence of a Y chromosome in Daniel’s DNA is the least of his talents. He is also (in no particular order):

A best-selling author; A TV producer, TV presenter and potential TV actor; Cult (sorry, collective) leader and founder of the micro-nation ‘Lovely’; Video game character and prolific player; Magazine columnist and advice disher-outer; Radio DJ and podcaster; Photo-blogger and word-based tweeter; Quiz master; Hollywood supremo; Future time-traveller; Internationally-acknowledge ‘Yes Man’; Notable wearer of glasses and cardigans; Giver-outer of random acts of kindness; Campaigner for monkey-rights; Mastermind contestant; Charity supporter; Website owner and generally all-round nice guy. Oh, and husband too.
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It’s good but it’s not right…

There are some things in life that are wrong, even when they’re right. Things that you know should happen, are appropriate and even to be expected, but you still don’t need to welcome them.

Its birthday season in the Wall household. My eldest was 9 last week and the youngest is 6 this week. As part of the celebrations, my wife has spent months transforming the office into a new bedroom, so the girls – who have previously had to share – now have their own room. The rooms look fantastic and the girls are extremely excited.
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Note: Whilst I usually like to include a short bio at the end of guest posts, this writer wanted to remain anonymous – preferring to be known simply as “Marine Wife”. It’s such a good read, I didn’t mind going with that at all. So without further ado, here’s Marine Wife’s story – which I thought gives a very interesting view of fatherhood in the military…

I remember it as if it were yesterday. Me in my traditional wedding dress, him in his full military uniform, our closest family surrounding us with their love, it couldn’t have been more perfect. When I said the words “I will” I thought I was agreeing to marry my future husband, the man. Five years on I realise I was agreeing to marry the man, the soldier, the Royal Marines and the Ministry of Defence.
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I remember as a child going to the fun fair that visited our north London suburb for a week every year. Being an adventurous kid I always played the hook a duck stand and for my stirling efforts won: a goldfish in a plastic bag! Not much of a prize, but to be fair not much of a life; living in a cupful of water in a discarded sandwich holder, alone and stared at by gormless children.

But I took my prize fish and rode on my bike back to the family home. Freddie – he was named by now – was put in a proper tank, with friends, food and a future. So he may not have known it, or been able to even understand it, but he certainly benefited from having a bike.
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Getting back into a routine after the summer holidays

While many parents will be glad that we are now back into the school routine as September gets under way, there can be a few teething troubles to get over during the first few weeks back at school.  And not just for kids!  Now that the schools are back things should return to normal and for many of us that means it’s back to wearing several different hats and juggling as many different responsibilities.  Getting back into the school year can be just as daunting for parents – so here are a few tips to help you navigate through the next few weeks.
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“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.”
— Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

In October 2004, when our son Evan was 9 months old, we packed our things, and moved out of the small university town my husband Andrew and I called home for over a decade. We headed to Dublin for a year so Andrew could finish his PhD. research. While I knew this was a valuable scholarly opportunity for Andrew—he would have access to archives, libraries, and people he could never meet living in our town— I was extremely nervous about what would happen to me, a new mom, living in an unfamiliar country, in a city with more than quadruple the population of the one we’d left. I was unable to work legally, and chose not to undertake a formal course of study since I already had my MA. It was therefore decided that I would stay home to raise our son. Our extremely meager living stipend didn’t stretch far in Dublin, which meant that our days out consisted of free museums, walks in the park and around the city, and the occasional trip to the coffee shop.
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